thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
