Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
