Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize