that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
