you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
