Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize