I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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