Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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