it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
