let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
