The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
