i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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