where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
