The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
