i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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