Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
