I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Two words: blizzard sex
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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