I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
