His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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