We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
