On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
