Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
