what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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