Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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