We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
birth control should be required to get into college
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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