margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
someone owes me an orgasm
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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