MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My bed smells like the plague
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
