Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
