No awkward lesbian experiences without me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
