at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
