Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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