Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
