We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
