Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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