with your own penis?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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