im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
