3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
