The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
