just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
