Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
