Im at strip club and am horny
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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