If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize