just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
