I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
