you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
