is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm like, not good at living.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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