His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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