i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my being single is dangerous.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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