Your tits are I can't wait for
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Congratulations! We have a period
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
