Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
