she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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