Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
