If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
