Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
