There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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