So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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