im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
