She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
