Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
