well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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