the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
