You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
