i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
