She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
