As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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