I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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