Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
