party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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