We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize